Why Complaining Is Hazardous To Your Happiness?
Published August 20th, 2007 in Happiness, Psychology, Friendship, Law of Attraction, Thoughts, Life, Belief.
When I was still working in the large corporation, I was puzzled and annoyed whenever we received a complaint letter pages long, signed by “the victim”. Not kidding but out there are possibly more victims than we can imagine. Some of their claims were found legitimate, but most didn’t. And, no matter the claims are justified or not, my two-cent worth is: Never Be a complainer as complaining is hazardous to your happiness and well-being.
Why?
Like attracts like, and this also applies to negative energy- We can’t see brain waves (just like we don’t see micro waves), but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Indeed it is scientifically proven that this world is a large energy system and if you send out negative energy, you attract more of the same back to you. And this is not hard to explain from our daily experience. When you leave your house angry that day, you’d probably bump into more rude and irresponsible people. They may be reacting to your intense look, and they may very possibly be reacting to your negative vibe.
Viewing the world behind tinted glass guarantees you bad experiences - Don’t you know chronic complainers who complain about almost everything, including the weather? If a person is irritated easily, then it is very possible that he/she is viewing the world behind tinted glass. The sky is grey in colour always and all other people are trying to take advantage. When somebody operates with such a negative and defensive approach, life is hardly enjoyable and there is no place for any meaning relationships. Relax and accept that the world won’t necessarily orbit according to your will and you will find life becomes easier.
When you complain, you blame - When come to think about it, why do people complain? One of the major reasons is to shake off responsibilities. “I failed because of the education system, my parents, the government, the weather…” You are named the victim because somebody (but not you) is to be blamed.
When you blame, you surrender your chance (and responsibility) to improve the situation - Let’s assume that you are 100% innocent. Are you eligible to blame? May be yes but it does you no good apart from the temporary psychological comfort that it brings. When you blame somebody else, you also put (surrender) the responsibility to improve the situation to the others. Instead of feeling and living miserably, why not direct your time and energy from being negative to doing something constructive for yourself?
Create drama so as to get attention and empathy? - Some people complain loud, until every cameras are focusing on them. Consciously or unconsciously, these people may be creating drama in order to get attention and empathy, while secretly enjoying the pay-offs. Beware of such tendency for after-all it doesn’t worth it and it’s manipulating.
So, you won the argument but how about the relationship?- Finally you proved to your spouse that his/her investment was a bad decision. You won the argument but the relationship fell apart. Sometimes we are very persistent about being right. But, then what?
Your complaints inevitably badly reflect on you- You separated with your boyfriend and you started complaining about him to your friends non-stop. Does it reflects badly on him? Probably. Does it reflects badly on you? Definitely for (1) you picked him at first place (bad taste?!) and (2) you now complaint about him (bad month)…
You scare your friends off - We all bump into bad experiences from time to time and it’s normal for us air our feelings. Nevertheless, if complaints dominate your topics of conversation, you are boring and before long your friends are put off.
Quit creating the downward spiral, it may not be as bad as you think - Your current situation more or less reflects your previous thinking. If happiness is your priority, allocate your time and energy accordingly. When you start to think more positive and take action, you quit creating the downward spiral and you will find that it is after all not that bad. If you only focus on the fault, you may miss many great opportunities for improving the situation.
Picture on top of the post adopted from A Beautiful Revolution at www.abeautifulrevolution.com.
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- All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten
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8 Responses to “Why Complaining Is Hazardous To Your Happiness?”
- 1 Trackback on Sep 22nd, 2007 at 7:14 am
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I hate it when others complain and I hate it when i start to compalin about something. It is sometimes tough to remember that there is a positive part to every situation. If I catch myself complaining I try to take a step back and ask myself what is positive about the situation and what is postive in my life at the moment. Once you start to think differently the world seems to be at your fingertips. Great post!
I got inspire by you on this… I should be thankful for all those things happen on me recently …
It’s all about the way you look at things. Back when I was in middle school their was this nice, quite, friendly girl. She was the type of person you want to be friends with… never negative. Well one day some people were talking about how mean she was… jerk, bully… always swearing. Hello… I don’t know where I was when this was happening and why they weren’t with me when my version what happening. I bet their glass was half empty and mine was half full.
Jose,
I totally agree with what you said. Once I had this “Devil who wears Prada” boss who had no friends and real support in the office. At first it was hard. But I remember that one day I decided to smile whenever I speak with her, the situation changed almost instantly. She may not be a easy person but when you reach out, miracle happens.
Keeyit,
Thanks for visiting and glad that my post inspires you some how. : )
Dan,
Hi. Yes, it’s definitely how you look at things - and sometimes I think it works like a mirror. When you think that the other person look angry / negative, check whether we are giving out some similar vibe…
Well I have heard some where:
“For things to get better you need to get better”
Complaining is definitely not change the person
yes. i complained this weekend — and i normally have a lot more patience but this time i didn’t. i was treated very rudely by a person behind the deli counter at the store i shop at and i filled out a complaint form afterwards. then all day i felt very sad that i hadn’t just overlooked it and let it go. i wondered what all could have been going on his life to make him so miserable. maybe he was just having a bad day. maybe he thought i was someone else. maybe he was unhappy in his job and just taking it out on random customers. but i felt so bad for complaining about it because now i’m concerned that i’ve got him in trouble at work, called too much attention to his bad behavior. he probably really needs his job and perhaps i’ve added only to his miserable state of things, rather than just responding with kindness. i’ve probably only reinforced his sad unhappy view of things. i thought it would make me feel better to stand up for myself but it just made me feel horrible afterwards.
Hi John,
Thanks. Can’t agree more on the quote.
Hi limine,
Yes, complaining creates downward spiral most of the time. When we are angry we may be do or say things that we regret later. But it is also very ture that it is not easy to balance between standing up for the self and being negative - how to state the fact but not over-react.
Thanks for the sharing.