Shine With Grace: It's All Your Fault

It’s All Your Fault!

Published October 22nd, 2007 in Happiness, Success, Life, Thoughts, Belief.

When you think that you have done nothing wrong, when you think that it’s your boyfriend / girlfriend / husband / wife / parents / boss / the government’s fault, fat chance that you’ve made some serious mistake.

I am the victim

Over-heard the following conversation from a phone-in programme on TV:

The civil servants’ salary should not be raised. My husband’s salary has not changed for 5 years and he’s getting more and more work to do. Now he has to leave work at 7 pm!

Thank you for your call.

… …

Blaming others

With due respect, but, I did reckon the lady would remain in her income blanket as long as she continues to call the phone-in programmes to complain about her husband’s salary, while condemning that the low income of her family was caused by the high income of others.

It’s handy to blame others.

One can easily explain away his/her failure, while also shaking off the pain he/she may feel for not obtaining what they want.

Just that, when you put the blame on others, you will most probably stay where you are, for you waste your time in finding fault instead of improving the situation. And, since you refrain from working on yourself, in a way you choose to lag behind while the others move forward.

At least 50% responsible

I believe that we are at least 50% responsible for all our relationships / career / success / failure.

When we fought with our better half, when we missed that promotion, when we failed the exam… Yes, he shouldn’t forget your birthday; yes, your boss is the ultimate idiot; yes, the exam questions were not in the syllabus…

You are still at least 50% responsible. There was always the chance you can do better, in handling the situation in a more mature way; in getting higher sales; in learning more about the subject.

Most importantly, when you act as if you’re (at least 50%) responsible, you don’t put control on other’s hand, instead, you do what you can, you may also try to change what seemingly can’t be changed.

And there is where the miracle begins.

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3 Responses to “It's All Your Fault!”

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1 Tom O'Leary Oct 23rd, 2007 at 1:08 am

Hi Shine

In Japan, when we have a traffic accident, I am told that if there is damage to a car, both parties are required to contribute to the bills. Even the supposedly innocent party is required to contribute a minimum of 30% of the cost because by being on the road and driving a car, he is partly responsible for the accident. I’m not sure if I agree with the maths, but I definitely think that we have to take more responsibility for the part we play in any interaction.

Thanks

Tom
2 shine Oct 29th, 2007 at 1:59 pm

Thanks Tom for the information. I think when we adopt the thinking of taking responsibility in our life, our life already start to change.