Shine With Grace

Have you ever wondered why your partner / kids / colleagues treat you badly?  “I was always nice and considerate to them…” you thought. 

The problem, maybe exactly that you have been too nice and considerate.

A easy-going character is always a merit.  Yet, being a nice and considerate person doesn’t mean that you don’t stand up for yourself when you’re being let down.

Say, for instance, your partner was home late again, drunk.  Instead of confronting his inconsiderate behaviour, you put up with it, you pretend that you’re OK with it, hoping that your partner would appreciate your being considerate and behave.

The result?  He comes home later and later, he is always drunk.

This is indeed psychology 101.  People tend to repeat what is being rewarded.  When your partner can enjoy his late night drinking party with your absence of attitude about it, this habit is actually being encouraged - and therefore will continue.  

The advice?  Be honest - be honest to yourself and to the people around you, give constructive feedback to the people you love.  Say no, if that’s you want to say.  Remember that “if you can’t say no in a relationship, you have to say no to the relationship.”

Related posts:

• If You Can’t Say No In A Relationship, You Have To Say No To The Relationship
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• How To Get Desired (And Continued) Positive Response From People Around You

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