Shine With Grace

The Crazy Ones Change The World

shine — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:29:35 +0000

This is the commercial of Apple.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=No1MxAnHuJM

Pay attention to what it says:

Here’s to the crazy ones

The misfits

The rebels

The troublemakers

The round pegs in the square holes

The ones who see things differently

They’re not fond of rules

And they have no respect for the status quo

You can quote them, disagree with them

glorify or vilify them

But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them

Because they change things

They push the human race forward

While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius

Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world

are the ones who do

The crazy ones in this commercial include: Albert Einstein, Bob Dylan, Martin Luther King Jr., Richard Branson, John Lennon, Thomas Edison, Muhannad Ali, Maria Callas, Mahatma Gandhi, Amelia Earhart, Alfred Hitchcock, Jim Henson, Picasso…

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Promises Are To Be Kept

shine — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:57:13 +0000

Promises are to be kept.

In every relationship, trust is the corner-stone and keeping promises is the only way to build up trust.

Promises can be large - politicians promising to turn around the economy in 4 years.

Promises can be small - calling your girl-friend at the agreed time.

Don’t be light-hearted. Large and small, promises are promises. Once broken, it leaves a crack on the trust between you two.

What if due to some unforeseen circumstances, you envisage that you can’t keep your promises?

Tell the truth before “the promise delivery date” and if possible, give a reason - to manage the expectation of your people / girlfriend - so that they / she won’t be disappointed finding out that you fail to deliver when the time comes.

What if you did plan to and was confident that you could keep your promise but somehow failed?

Apologize and be honest and give the reason to your people / girlfriend immediately. Don’t let them think that you’re a liar / somebody taking them for granted, somebody not keeping promises / somebody not trust-worthy. For once the negative impression is formed, it takes extra effort (if ever possible) to win them back. For once you are labelled incredible, your every action will be doubted.

What if you are not sure you can keep a promise, but would like to give one out anyhow to cheer up your voters / girlfriend?

My advice would be: Don’t make any promises unless you are determined to follow-through. True that they will be happy when you initiate it, but, they will hate you more when they find out that you don’t really have the heart to make real.

Indeed, people will even be more delighted when you under promise and over deliver. Afterall, people are result oriented, and action always speaks louder than words.

Picture: Violet Horizon by Peter Wileman

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Want More Good Luck? Network!

shine — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:24:55 +0000

Do you want more good luck in life?

We all do, right?

There is one easy way to get lucky: go out, mingle, meet new friends and old ones - network!

Why?

Because you may find a new friend who clicks, a business partner, a wise guy who answers your doubt…

Because you may find a way to help some people.

Because you will discover an interesting topic.

Because through the interaction and conversation you get to know more about yourself.

Because we are less than 6 degrees apart - the more people you get to know, the broader is your spider net and the higher the possibility you find your match - be it a partner, a good friend, a drinking buddy, an expert on a particular subject, a celebrity…

Enjoy the conversation, enjoy the inspirations.

And you never know - one day they will lend you a helping hand, or you lend them yours.

When you are open to new encounters, when you let people approach you, get to know you, you build bondages and new connections. And you don’t need to be too calculating in your networking, just enjoy the friendship and you will get it all.

Remember, afterall, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know that matters.

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Rewarding A Bad Behaviour

shine — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:54:21 +0000

Have you ever wondered why your partner / kids / colleagues treat you badly? “I was always nice and considerate to them…” you thought.

The problem, maybe exactly that you have been too nice and considerate.

A easy-going character is always a merit. Yet, being a nice and considerate person doesn’t mean that you don’t stand up for yourself when you’re being let down.

Say, for instance, your partner was home late again, drunk. Instead of confronting his inconsiderate behaviour, you put up with it, you pretend that you’re OK with it, hoping that your partner would appreciate your being considerate and behave.

The result? He comes home later and later, he is always drunk.

This is indeed psychology 101. People tend to repeat what is being rewarded. When your partner can enjoy his late night drinking party with your absence of attitude about it, this habit is actually being encouraged - and therefore will continue.

The advice? Be honest - be honest to yourself and to the people around you, give constructive feedback to the people you love. Say no, if that’s you want to say. Remember that “if you can’t say no in a relationship, you have to say no to the relationship.”

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Feeling So Insecure… We All Do

shine — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 15:14:20 +0000

Don’t you feel insecure when you lauch a new project, land on a new job, or simply when being introduced to a couple of new friends or visiting a new hip restaurant?

You thought that you’re the only one with the the sweaty palms?

I thought so before.

Then, this is true for everybody.

Even the most confident / the riches / the powerful person has his / her own insecurity - only that you don’t know it.

Robert Kiyosaki, the author of the best selling Rich Dad Poor Dad shared that when he lauched the beta version of his Cash-flow Game and learnt that a CPA was going to test play the game the next day, what ran through his mind was “I felt like I was about to be busted, exposed as a fraud.” The happened was the CPA, Sharon L. Lechter, who test played the game loved it so much that she’s so confident in its potential and became the partner of Robert Kiyosaki,while the game did turned out extremely popular world-wide.

The morale?

Never ever let your insecure feeling stops you. We all doubt ourselves. We are not perfect. But, it doesn’t mean that we can’t try, nor that we can’t succeed.

We won’t only when we don’t take the first step, or, may be the second.

Picture: Vincent Van Gogh, Starry Night

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If You Can’t Say No In A Relationship, You Have To Say No To The Relationship

shine — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:27:08 +0000

If you can’t say no in a relationship, you have to say no to the relationship.

~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

The above quote sounds a bit sad, but, when come to think about it, it’s very true.

Everybody is different. Therefore, in any relationship, there are unavoidably differences, disagreement, conflicts. There may not be right or wrong, but different views, different habit, different ideas. There are things you don’t agree.

What would you do? Be direct in telling your partner / friend / family member what do you think, or remain silent but let the discomfort build up in your chest?

It depends.

If it’s only minor stuff that you don’t really mind, you may choose not to mention it - as long as it doesn’t bother you, or affect your relationships.

Yet, if it is something that really annoys you, please mind as well find a chance and tell your partner honestly how do you feel. It doesn’t need to be emotional, but you do need to communicate, before the negative feeling keep building up and affects your relationship.

Do communicate - so that (1) your partner can let you know what he/she is thinking, why he/she is doing the thing you don’t like - there may be reasons that you don’t know, there may be misunderstanding… and (2) allow the chance for he/she to rectify the situation.

Remember, if you don’t tell he/she what you don’t like but let your uneasy feeling builds up, without their knowing it, what happens is whenever he/she “commits the same mistakes” (mistakes in your eyes), you allow your discontent to build up, you hate the fact that your partner is so inconsiderate and not care about your feelings… while indeed, he/she has always been in the dark and don’t know what they are doing bothers you that much.

Then one day, before long, the pressure is so high the relationship just crack - mostly starts with a minor incident, followed by a big fight, which suddenly let all the negative feelings explode.

And sometimes, the relationship is beyond repair.

Don’t think that you are being nice to put up with things you don’t like. In the long run, you may be sabotaging your relationship.

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The Hard Truth About Soft Skills

shine — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 03:06:49 +0000

Just discovered a new book at the bookstore called “The Hard Truth About Soft Skill”, written by Peggy Klaus, Fortune 500 communication and leadership coach. In the book, she pointed out that no matter how good you are performing, how professional you are, how knowledgeable you appear to be, it’s your soft skills that land you at the top, or the lack of them that kills you…

What are these soft skills? To name a few:

• Knowing yourself is as important as knowing how to do the job.
• Learn when to stick and when to shift or the details will hang you.
• Your procrastination is trying to tell you something.
• Get smart about asking dumb questions.
• You don’t need to be everyone’s best friend—that’s what dogs are for.
• Know where to draw the line between self-improvement and self-destruction.
• When it comes to gossip, learn the art of deflection.
• Keep your visibility when you’re not face-to-face.
• Don’t take it personally.
• Stop stereotypes from sinking you.
• You’re the boss, stupid, that’s why they hang on your every word.

Wanna know how’s your soft skills level? Take the test (24 questions): http://www.bettersoftskills.com/quiz/index.php

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Just Like Me…

shine — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:53:44 +0000

Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for his / her life.

Just like me, this person is trying ot aviod suffering in his / her life.

Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair.

Just like me, this person is seekign to fulfill his / her needs.

Just like me, this person is learning about life.

We are not opposite of each other.

There may be actions that we don’t appreciate, words that we don’t approve, point of views that we don’t agree…

But, we are not necessarily opposite of each other.

When we practice to be more compassionate, when we can learn to put ourselves into other’s shoes, when we appreciate that human beings, including ourselves do make mistakes, we feel less anger, but more peace.

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Picture: Almond Branches in Bloom by Vincent van Gogh

Paradoxes

shine — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 09:28:22 +0000

Came across the quote below in a website - the quote a young man uses to summarise himself - the quote that so deeply touched me…

Paradoxes.

We are all full of paradoxes - and, are you willing to be honest with yourself? To accept both the good and bad of yourself? Admit and accept that you do struggle? Admit and accept that even though that’s the case you still deserved to be loved?

When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games. Aristotle said ‘I am a rational animal;’ I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer.”

~ Brennan Manning’s Ragamuffin Gospel

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How To Win Friends And Influence People? 10 Rules to Bear In Mind…

shine — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 03:59:10 +0000

Below is 10 rules listed by Dr. Philip McGraw in his book, Life Strategies, in regard to human behaviour. Wanna win friends and influence people? Do bear them in mind:

The number-one fear among all people is rejection.
The number-one need among all people is acceptance.
To manage people effectively, you must do it in a way that protects or enhances their self-esteem.
Everybody - and I mean everybody - approaches every situation with at least some concern about “what’s in it for me?’
Everybody - and I mean everybody - prefers to talk about things that are important to them personally.
People hear and incorporate only what they understand.
People like, trust, and believe those who like them.
People often do things for other than the apparent reasons.
Even people of quality can be, and often are, petty and small.
Everybody - and I mean everybody - wears a social mask. You must look beyond the mask to see the person.

We all have failed to communicate with our love / family / colleagues / friends as effectively as we wished to, right? Examine the list above, there really are some truth in it.

You can be absoutly right. But, if there is no rapport between you and the person you’re trying to communicate with, he/she is not going to listen to you.

You can be absoutly right. But, if your message hamper the other’s self-esteem, he/she is not going to listen to you.

You can be absoutly right. But, if you are conveying your message in a way the other person can’t understand, he/she is not going to listen to you.

When come to think about it, it’s that simple.

And, well, it takes a lot of efforts to build rapport, to tune in to the common wave-length…

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