Shine With Grace

Feeling So Insecure… We All Do

0 Comments Published April 5th, 2008 in Psychology, Life, Thoughts, Belief.

Don’t you feel insecure when you lauch a new project, land on a new job, or simply when being introduced to a couple of new friends or visiting a new hip restaurant?

You thought that you’re the only one with the the sweaty palms?

I thought so before.

Then, this is true for everybody.

Even the most confident / the riches / the powerful person has his / her own insecurity - only that you don’t know it.

Robert Kiyosaki, the author of the best selling Rich Dad Poor Dad shared that when he lauched the beta version of his Cash-flow Game and learnt that a CPA was going to test play the game the next day, what ran through his mind was “I felt like I was about to be busted, exposed as a fraud.” The happened was the CPA, Sharon L. Lechter, who test played the game loved it so much that she’s so confident in its potential and became the partner of Robert Kiyosaki,while the game did turned out extremely popular world-wide.

The morale?

Never ever let your insecure feeling stops you. We all doubt ourselves. We are not perfect. But, it doesn’t mean that we can’t try, nor that we can’t succeed.

We won’t only when we don’t take the first step, or, may be the second.

Picture: Vincent Van Gogh, Starry Night

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If You Can’t Say No In A Relationship, You Have To Say No To The Relationship

2 Comments Published April 1st, 2008 in Happiness, Life, Thoughts.

If you can’t say no in a relationship, you have to say no to the relationship.

~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

The above quote sounds a bit sad, but, when come to think about it, it’s very true.

Everybody is different. Therefore, in any relationship, there are unavoidably differences, disagreement, conflicts. There may not be right or wrong, but different views, different habit, different ideas. There are things you don’t agree.

What would you do? Be direct in telling your partner / friend / family member what do you think, or remain silent but let the discomfort build up in your chest?

It depends.

If it’s only minor stuff that you don’t really mind, you may choose not to mention it - as long as it doesn’t bother you, or affect your relationships.

Yet, if it is something that really annoys you, please mind as well find a chance and tell your partner honestly how do you feel. It doesn’t need to be emotional, but you do need to communicate, before the negative feeling keep building up and affects your relationship.

Do communicate - so that (1) your partner can let you know what he/she is thinking, why he/she is doing the thing you don’t like - there may be reasons that you don’t know, there may be misunderstanding… and (2) allow the chance for he/she to rectify the situation.

Remember, if you don’t tell he/she what you don’t like but let your uneasy feeling builds up, without their knowing it, what happens is whenever he/she “commits the same mistakes” (mistakes in your eyes), you allow your discontent to build up, you hate the fact that your partner is so inconsiderate and not care about your feelings… while indeed, he/she has always been in the dark and don’t know what they are doing bothers you that much.

Then one day, before long, the pressure is so high the relationship just crack - mostly starts with a minor incident, followed by a big fight, which suddenly let all the negative feelings explode.

And sometimes, the relationship is beyond repair.

Don’t think that you are being nice to put up with things you don’t like. In the long run, you may be sabotaging your relationship.

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The Hard Truth About Soft Skills

0 Comments Published March 29th, 2008 in Work, Psychology, Business, Books.

Just discovered a new book at the bookstore called “The Hard Truth About Soft Skill”, written by Peggy Klaus, Fortune 500 communication and leadership coach. In the book, she pointed out that no matter how good you are performing, how professional you are, how knowledgeable you appear to be, it’s your soft skills that land you at the top, or the lack of them that kills you…

What are these soft skills? To name a few:

• Knowing yourself is as important as knowing how to do the job.
• Learn when to stick and when to shift or the details will hang you.
• Your procrastination is trying to tell you something.
• Get smart about asking dumb questions.
• You don’t need to be everyone’s best friend—that’s what dogs are for.
• Know where to draw the line between self-improvement and self-destruction.
• When it comes to gossip, learn the art of deflection.
• Keep your visibility when you’re not face-to-face.
• Don’t take it personally.
• Stop stereotypes from sinking you.
• You’re the boss, stupid, that’s why they hang on your every word.

Wanna know how’s your soft skills level? Take the test (24 questions): http://www.bettersoftskills.com/quiz/index.php

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Just Like Me…

0 Comments Published March 24th, 2008 in Gratitude, Happiness, Love, Belief.

Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for his / her life.

Just like me, this person is trying ot aviod suffering in his / her life.

Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair.

Just like me, this person is seekign to fulfill his / her needs.

Just like me, this person is learning about life.

We are not opposite of each other.

There may be actions that we don’t appreciate, words that we don’t approve, point of views that we don’t agree…

But, we are not necessarily opposite of each other.

When we practice to be more compassionate, when we can learn to put ourselves into other’s shoes, when we appreciate that human beings, including ourselves do make mistakes, we feel less anger, but more peace.

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Picture: Almond Branches in Bloom by Vincent van Gogh

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Paradoxes

0 Comments Published March 19th, 2008 in Gratitude, Life, Thoughts, Belief.

Came across the quote below in a website - the quote a young man uses to summarise himself - the quote that so deeply touched me…

Paradoxes.

We are all full of paradoxes - and, are you willing to be honest with yourself? To accept both the good and bad of yourself? Admit and accept that you do struggle? Admit and accept that even though that’s the case you still deserved to be loved?

When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games. Aristotle said ‘I am a rational animal;’ I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer.”

~ Brennan Manning’s Ragamuffin Gospel

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